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06-02-2004, 09:53 AM
glšnzend glšnzend is offline
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> > > > > We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
> > > > > but the plural of ox
> > > > > became oxen not oxes.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
> > > > > yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If the plural of man is always called men,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Then one may be that, and three would be those,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > but though we say mother, we never say methren.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Let's face it, English is a crazy language.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > There is no egg in eggplant,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nor ham in hamburger;
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> > > > > English muffins weren't invented in England.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > We take English for granted.
> > > > > But if we explore its paradoxes,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > we find that quicksand can work slowly,
> > > > > boxing rings are square
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it
> > > > > a pig.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
> > > > > fing,
> > > > > grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Doesn't it seem crazy that you can
> > > > > make amends, but not one amend?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If you have a bunch of odds and ends
> > > > > and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
> > > > > it?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
> > > > > humanitarian eat?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up
> > > > > speaking English
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
> > > > > insane
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > In What other language do people recite at a play
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > and play at a recital.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > while a wise man and a Wise guy are opposites?
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
> > > > > language
> > > > > In which your house can burn up as it burns down;
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > in which you fill in a form by filling it out
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
> > > > > ~Author
> > > > > > Unknown~
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
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06-02-2004, 10:52 AM
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