Ice Cream
 

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, It looks like you blew a seal.

No, no, the penguin replies, it's just ice cream.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

ROFL :lol:

LMAO :D




David

:lol: :lol: :mrgreen:

ROTF :mrgreen:

RAISING THE WEINER!
 

RAISING THE WEINER!

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor

I work at great depths

I am always using my head first

I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays

I work in a damp environment

I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

I work in high temperatures

My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Response from Human Resources:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

You do not always follow the orders of the management team

You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas

You take a lot of non-rostered breaks

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift

You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct
protective outfits

You don't like working double shifts

You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your
work

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!

8O :lol:

LOL :lol:

Recipe for ...
 

sex

Ingredients:

4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

DIRECTIONS :

1. Look into laughing eyes.
2 . Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl is damp.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed . (For best results, continue to knead milk containers)
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not overnight)
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn't soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:

1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.

LMAOROTF :mrgreen: :lol: :lol: