Two married buddies
 

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the
other and says, "You know, I don't know what to do. Whenever I go home
after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to
the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my
shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get
undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up
and yells at me for staying out so late!


His friend looks at him and says, "It's all in the attitude, buddy.
You're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway,
slam the front door, storm up the steps, throw my clothes on the floor,
jump naked into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'WHO'S HORNY?' and
she acts like she's sound asleep every time.