Guess what? lordsmurf is back!

lordsmurf · #1 11-20-2013, 01:44 AM

Today was a good day. I could actually label a DVD, and it looked like my own handwriting again.

You have no idea how hard I worked for that. It was slow, it was not long, and it wasn't perfect ... but it was mine again. My handwriting. My comic-like handwriting that I've always been proud of.

And I'm writing my first guides (no, not by hand! typing, typing!) and editorials in at least a year. For the past few years, I wasn't very good about doing that. Too busy working, not as much sharing as I used to do. But I swore if I ever got my ability to type back, I'd rectify that. I'm not as agile on a keyboard as I use to be, but it'll do. Expect to see several by week's end!

In recent months, I've learned it wasn't a stroke. And it only took five misdiagnoses from five doctors to get there.

I have a disease for which there is no cure. It's manageable, thankfully, and I started therapy today. In my lifetime, maybe, hopefully, they'll find the cure. But until then, I'll be doing this daily for the rest of my life. More on that another time. I've always been an open book, behind this username, and will continue to do so, in the quest to educate others. It's just another thing to add to my repertoire, besides video.

(Note: It's not AIDS. And there used to be a Smurfette in my life. So if you're raising an eyebrow, you can put it back down.)

I'm not "better" yet, and probably won't be for a few more years. But I can at least come back to my passion. I can do what I did when I was younger, and make video a hobby again. While I can work, it's very minimal these days. (I am making good on all past projects that I was doing at the time, and others here cannot do. Just give me some time.)

This goal has been building slowly for months. Now, I think it's safe to say I can be online daily once more. Barring any more medical incident of course. (That is always possible. So keep yours fingers crossed, and keep me in those occasional prayers.)

Now then ... who wants a guide?

EDIT | Chronology:

- December 2012: http://www.digitalfaq.com/forum/news...q-updates.html
- July 2013: False start, too optimistic: http://www.digitalfaq.com/forum/news...ack-246-a.html
- November 2013: False start for online, much offline life-rebuilding to fix first.
- April 2014: Back, finally, after almost 18 months mostly offline: http://www.digitalfaq.com/forum/news...html#post31514 (post#12)

toastysoul · #2 11-20-2013, 03:26 AM

Glad to hear it. It will be a sad day indeed if PapaSmurf is no longer around to answer PMs.

As I understand it, exhaustive repetition is what helps strengthen/rebuild motor neuron connections. I'm sure if the doctor could have cut your noodle open, he/she might have discovered what it was sooner. I can't imagine trying to accurately diagnose anything by looking at a picture and taking some external measurements. I've seen first hand what losing motor control can do to people. No matter what the cause, it's always a great thing when you make any kind of recovery. Congrats.

jmac698 · #3 11-20-2013, 03:40 AM

Guide pls! WB Mr. Smurf, great to have you around again

vkmestari · #4 11-20-2013, 04:26 AM

Great to hear of the progress and have you back on a regular basis again, even though you seem to have been around quite a bit recently with your always invaluable contributions

GreenAcres · #5 11-20-2013, 10:14 AM

Yeah! Glad to hear you are getting back into your routine.

msgohan · #6 11-20-2013, 05:41 PM

Hopefully they got it right this time!!

DeeSeven · #7 11-21-2013, 12:22 PM

welcome back smurf

merchantord · #8 11-23-2013, 07:20 PM

Welcome back! So glad to hear you are on the mend. I shall definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

rocko · #9 11-24-2013, 01:59 PM

Keep it up L.S.,your truly an Inspiration to us all!!

ChristineBCW · #10 11-24-2013, 02:14 PM

Welcome back. So... my charred wooden stake and this bunch of garlic is no longer necessary? Whew... I wasn't looking forward to traipsing around some castle's subterranean caverns!

dianedebuda · #11 11-24-2013, 08:40 PM

Had no idea of condition when I tracked down & registered on the site in preparation of doing home video conversions. Would have never been successful without LS Guides back in 1999-2000 when I built my orig AIW system. Welcome back!

lordsmurf · #12 04-18-2014, 04:02 AM

I've been mostly offline again for the past month, redoing my home office (personal mini-studio). Now that that's done, I plan to start writing online again (guides, especially!), and will be on the forum answering many questions starting this weekend.

My most recent updates:
- I can hold a camera again, with minimal shaking! ... though only for VERY short bursts (5-10 minutes max).
- About 75% of my vision has returned! Still can't drive, though.
- And my limp has disappeared! ... though my leg still hurts from too much walking. I still can't run/jog.

I've really been practicing handwriting a lot these past few months. My handwriting is not back 100%, but certain letters are there. As with everything else, too much repetition is painful. After a page of letters, my hand locks up.

But my computer keyboarding is pretty accurate again. That helps when you want to write in the 21st century!

TylerDurden389 · #13 04-18-2014, 09:03 AM

Glad to hear you're doing much better LS. Welcome back!!

DeeSeven · #14 04-18-2014, 02:18 PM

welcome back

deadrats · #15 04-21-2014, 07:55 PM

LS:

i had kind of noticed that you weren't posting over at the video help forums but it never occurred to me that something had happened to you, just figured that you got tired of the forum and decided to move on.

glad to hear you are doing better, hope this doesn't come off as being intrusive but what did it turn out to be. reading through all the symptoms it's obvious you've been through a lot and while i may not be a doctor i do currently work in 2 hospitals and i used to work in the oncology department in a large hospital, call it semi-professional curiosity, the lost eye sight, the shaking, some of the other symptoms, i thought maybe you had suffered a diabetic stroke yet you say that in fact it's a manageable disease, so while i'm glad to hear that the prognosis is positive i can't help but wonder what it is you in fact have.

anyway, feel better, i kind of know what you're going through, 4 years ago i fell through a ceiling and ended up in the hospital, spent years taking pain meds, physical therapy, booze to deal with the pain, and i'm still not the man i used to be. granted what i went through was nowhere near as bad as what you're going through but i do understand that it's very easy to slip into depression, feel despondent and/or desire for it to be all over in the final sense of the word.

i hope you get the medical care you need and don't worry about the bills, i know they can pile up but the last thing you need to be worrying about is money.

-'rats.

lordsmurf · #16 04-21-2014, 10:18 PM

@deadrats:

It's always nice to see VH'ers coming here.

No, I never lost interest in video. If anything, it helped me re-focus on why I started to begin with.

While laying bedridden for those many months, I would think about the many hobby/personal projects that I still wanted to do -- things I had procrastinated on! For a while there, it looked as if they would never happen. Thinking that I had missed my only opportunity to restore/archive family memories (and rare TV/cartoons) was a gut-wrenching thought that I avoided. I wanted to kick myself for waiting too long...

... which was hard, considering one of my legs no longer worked.

(You've got to keep a sense of humor. You can't survive without one.)

But as I recovered, it became clear that doing these projects would someday be possible. I was going to get a second chance. So the hobby/personal part is what I will very slowly be working on in the near future.

My hobby had also turned into a career -- and is one of the main reasons my hobby/personal work was shelved for years. Because I can't really work full-time yet (there's still lots of other issues that prevent it), I feel like a student again -- because of free time, not tests/studying! So my hobby is how I'll once again hone my skills, before entering the field again.

In some ways, I have to start over in life. A big reset button was hit on the last 10 years.

I plan to release a blog in the near future that chronicles my ordeal, to help others that are also having to deal with it -- and strokes, since the symptoms were similar. It was single-lesion MS that attacked the hypothalamus. It was misdiagnosed as stroke for 11 months, because the symptoms were almost 100% identical to a stroke. But the recovery and timeline were off. Age should have tipped them off, as I'm in the 25-50 age group that can get MS and not the 50+ that gets strokes. I have far more information that I'll be blogging about, which you may find very interesting.

I made the decision to make my issues public, to help others in the same predicament. There is hope that it will get better. I'm proof of that. As always, I want to help others with what I know -- share the knowledge.

In addition to video, my medical condition has become a hobby -- one of need. I'll be researching that one with the same zeal as I've always approached video.

You know, I never once felt depressed. To me, this is/was a problem that needed to be fixed, and that's where all my energy has gone. I don't have time to be depressed or feel sorry for myself. I have things that I want to do in life, and this is/was just another obstacle to overcome.

Hopefully you've overcome your demons/issues since your ordeal. If not, godspeed to you as well.