The music choice is good -- nice and relaxing.
Your only real issues here are cropping and color.
The shots are cluttered by foreground that doesn't add anything to the image -- it's just junk that's in the way. It's not clean. A good crop would better tell the story, remove distractions, and improve the composition. This may be doable in editing, if you've shot HD and are willing to create 16x9 SD output. Cropping and staying HD is iffy. (Next time, move/zoom closer.)
flamingo1.jpg
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It's also good to vary shots more. An extreme close-up (a "detail" shot), a far shot, and a near shot. Action should vary, too, and not all be the same action from multiple days/angles.
And then be sure all of the scenes are (A) calibrated to legal video values, (B) matched/calibrated against one another to maintain an overall mood, (C) not under/over exposed or saturated. Each of these scenes could use some work, especially the middle clip:
flamingo3.jpg
All in all, it's not bad, not at all. It just has lots of room for improvement.
Hope that helps.
