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glšnzend 08-25-2004 10:57 AM

Blond Painter
 
A Blonde Finds Work.....

Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decides to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure that sounds great!" said Julie.

"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.

"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.

"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.

"Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.

"You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!"

The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.

"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

rds_correia 08-25-2004 11:20 AM

I was laughing like crazy until I reminded myself that I am one of the biggest Ferrari's fans since '81 and I was about 7 yrs 8O .
But for a good laugh I guess I have to forget about that for a minute or two ;-)
Anyway that's a lovely blonds joke glanzend.
BTW you wouldn't happen to be a brunette would you :rotf:
Cheers

glšnzend 08-26-2004 12:57 PM

Dearest rui, two things, first this is for you:

http://profiles.yahoo.com/glanzend5 and very proud of it :stickouttongue:

and second:

R you by any chance trying to make us belive that you, R 30 yrs old :confused: ????

cooome on I know you have a beautiful voice, but 30???????

lol
ciao
glšnzend

kwag 08-26-2004 01:03 PM

:rotf: :lol: :umbrella:

jorel 08-26-2004 01:28 PM

ahhhhhh.... http://profiles.yahoo.com/glanzend5
who is that guy with glasses?!?!? your pa? :roll: :rotf:

rds_correia 08-26-2004 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
Dearest rui, two things, first this is for you:
http://profiles.yahoo.com/glanzend5 and very proud of it :stickouttongue:

Hi Glanzend :)
I knew you weren't Blond! I knew it! :lol:
Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
R you by any chance trying to make us belive that you, R 30 yrs old :confused: ????
cooome on I know you have a beautiful voice, but 30???????

Hehe,
Just turned 30 last April, hehe.
Don't missunderstand me. I'd like to still be in the 18-20. Those were the days :P
As to my voice :oops: I don't like to talk about it because I feel a little embarassed about it.
Seems like it doesn't belong to me :roll:
BTW (based on Jorge's questions) who's the guy with the glasses?
Uau, wait a minute :!:
I was looking at the picture and you're not trying to tell us you're 40, are u? :lol: :rotf:
Cheers

jorel 08-26-2004 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rds_correia
BTW (based on Jorge's questions) who's the guy with the glasses?
Uau, wait a minute :!:
I was looking at the picture and you're not trying to tell us you're 40, are u? :lol: :rotf:
Cheers

2 big problems Correia:
:secret:
first: she is a lier, she have 25...or less!
second: she deserve a beautiful boy(like me) --> :encore: , not that ugly guy :spook: ...kwag knows about this guy? :roll: :hihi:


my cristal ball showing the next kwag's pm for me: :expert:

kwag 08-26-2004 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
ahhhhhh.... http://profiles.yahoo.com/glanzend5
who is that guy with glasses?!?!? your pa? :roll: :rotf:

It's better to be a "Pa" than a "Gran'Pa" :rotf:

rds_correia 08-26-2004 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
first: she is a lier, she have 25...or less!

:arrow: That's what I already suspected :!: ;-)
Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
my cristal ball showing the next kwag's pm for me: :expert:

You'd better run for your life Jorge :rotf:
And I might as well do the same thing :lol:

rds_correia 08-26-2004 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwag
It's better to be a "Pa" than a "Gran'Pa" :rotf:

You're kidding me :!:
Is that you with the glasses 8) Karl :?: :lol:

kwag 08-26-2004 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
my cristal ball showing the next kwag's pm for me: :expert:

:arrow: :expert: :expert: :stickeye: :stickeye: :cluebat: :punch: :BangHead: :rotf:

kwag 08-26-2004 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rds_correia
You're kidding me :!:
Is that you with the glasses 8) Karl :?: :lol:

Yes, that WAS me two years ago.
Now I look younger, because of this :arrow: www.alexchiu.com :rotf:
Like this (one year ago) : http://kwag.stumbleupon.com (LMAO :lol: )

-kwag

glšnzend 08-26-2004 08:11 PM

:cid: This is the one joke that got funnier and more :confused: by the minute,

But in all seriusness, thanks to all of you, you are all wonderful friends.

Jorge, you are sweet and always make me laugh and spoil me with the flowers (I don't deserve them but keep them coming, I love them).

Rui, you are also very nice, and funny not to mention that you DO have a beautiful voice, (and yes I'm 40, and I also wish I could go back).

And last but not least the most important one my wonderful, gorgeous husband karl, don't worry I'll protect you from him,

PS I'll keep the jokes coming

rds_correia 08-26-2004 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
Rui, you are also very nice, and funny not to mention that you DO have a beautiful voice, (and yes I'm 40, and I also wish I could go back).

I'm very flattered with your words :).
Besides that I will make no more comments to what my voice sounds like :mrgreen: .
Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
And last but not least the most important one my wonderful, gorgeous husband karl, don't worry I'll protect you from him,

Hey Jorge, by now Karl must be drooling. I say it's time to start running anyways :mrgreen:
Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
PS I'll keep the jokes coming

:arrow: Now that's the spirit :!: ;-)
And you sure know good ones :D
Cheers

jorel 08-26-2004 08:39 PM

oh come on...not kidding now!
from Kwag's page:
I am Karl Wagner, a 44 year-old guy from San Juan,Puerto Rico
"Audience 0 0 fans "
:screwy:
do you live in an island?.... 8O ....."nobody" love's you? 8O

glšnzend, sign in his page, proove that you love your "pa"!

:rotf:

glšnzend 08-26-2004 08:51 PM

Hey guys
Quote:

Originally Posted by rds_correia
Hey Jorge, by now Karl must be drooling. I say it's time to start running anyways :mrgreen:

Don't worry his bark is worse than this bite :cid:

jorel 08-26-2004 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
Dearest rui, .....
belive that you, R 30 yrs old :confused: ????

cooome on I know you have a beautiful voice, but 30???????

lol
ciao
glšnzend

i know the Correia secret:
his voice is cool AFTER an equalizer of 50 bands(stereo surround) :roll:

Correia have 30 .....he is not so "teen" like me.......well...
:roll:
.....i am 3 full times seven-TEEN more 1(like a baby),then,
i am MORE TEEN than Correia cos i have MORE TEENS! :roll:

kwag 08-26-2004 08:54 PM

:stickouttongue: :bugeyes: :lol:

jorel 08-26-2004 08:59 PM

OT...

from the Kwag's link posted about :
http://www.alexchiu.com/

"Attention! You can also receive FREE Immortality Rings if you help me out!"

why one immortal need help?
8O

glšnzend 08-26-2004 09:03 PM

@jorge

I'll tell you a secret, :secret: he did the page and did not tell me about it, so now let him suffer alone, but don't worry he knows I love him :wink:

kwag 08-26-2004 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
why one immortal need help?
8O

I was refering to the age reversal effect :lol:
Not the immortality claims :lol:

-kwag

glšnzend 08-26-2004 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
why one immortal need help?
8O

Please :ohplease: he is axhausting enough, as a mortal, you want to kill me? 8O

glšnzend 08-26-2004 09:21 PM

BTW jorge

Great emoticon of "Banned" I love it. 8)

jorel 08-26-2004 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kwag
Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
why one immortal need help?
8O

I was refering to the age reversal effect :lol:
Not the immortality claims :lol:

-kwag

oooh yeah ...but i was talking about the guy of the link! (ALi-EnX)
he like of Alicia Silverstone.....and who don't? :roll:
born in USA(San Francisco) but grow in Taiwan....and say:
"i am not from Taiwan, i am chinese"! :screwy:
he talk about peace but want Taiwan back to China (if blood for that is needed is irrelevant in his opinion)....what country he love!?!?
seems that his father send "things" to USA....maybe his brothers and import some wifes from USA....he have 4 stepmothers! 8O
...his immortality have patent in USA.....who can stole the immortality or copy? :?
he can read,speak and write in 4 languages but nobody "understand a thing".. .in the whole world...:?
and what he is showing about hands and feet polarity i learn with my "mother(*o**er) in law"....hands for good-byes or fight...and feet to run in differents directions! :lol:

...and some friends call me mad!?!?!? :P bah!

kwag 08-26-2004 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
and what he is showing about hands and feet polarity i learn with my "mother(*o**er) in law"....hands for good-byes or fight...and feet to run in differents directions! :lol:

:rotf: :hihi:
Quote:


...and some friends call me mad!?!?!? :P bah!
Mad :!: Who's mad :?: :lol:

-kwag

glšnzend 08-27-2004 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
....what country he love!?!?

I can answer that, he loves the country that brings him more dollars$$$$$$ :angryfire:



Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
...and some friends call me mad!?!?!? :P bah!

:bruce: someone calling you mad? you let me take care of them :bruce:
nobody mesess with my friends and gets away with it.

jorel 08-27-2004 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
:bruce: someone calling you mad? you let me take care of them :bruce:
nobody mesess with my friends and gets away with it.

ha-haaaa!
@ Kwag:
see? your position now is veeeery dangerous....taaaaaake care yourself!
my dear friend glšnzend protect me, the law is on my side and she can "process" you cos she is the law !
:lol:

@ glšnzend: :ideasmiley:
dear friend, take the Kwag's international credit card and go to the shopping....,get everything you want, no need faster....when tired,maybe an helicopter or a new car to go home, you have my aval...is my "simple way" to recognize your friendship!
:bowdown:

@ Kwag again:
:rotf:

Fluffbutt 08-31-2004 08:43 AM

Haha - You people are absolute nutters!!

(All I can say to this is that in those two picture urls posted, both ladies look absolutely gorgeous - you're lucky fellers!!!)

:LOL: (I love this mad forum)

glšnzend 08-31-2004 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffbutt
Haha - You people are absolute nutters!!

No contest there, I have to agree with you we are :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffbutt
(All I can say to this is that in those two picture urls posted, both ladies look absolutely gorgeous - you're lucky fellers!!!)

*EHHEM* I reeeally hope you are kidding!! what two ladies?

*shouts* JOREL!! RUI!!! SOME HELP HERE PLEASE!!! :bawl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffbutt
: LOL: (I love this mad forum)


rds_correia 08-31-2004 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fluffbutt
All I can say to this is that in those two picture urls posted, both ladies look absolutely
gorgeous - you're lucky fellers!!!

Now, Fluffbutt, what do you mean by two ladies :?: :?: :?:
There are in fact two pictures but both represent the same young girl :!:
Ehem sorry :arrow: I meant lady, but it's just that I don't usually call lady to someone that is about 20 yrs.
Even though she's married and keeps telling me she's 40 yrs :lol: :rotf:.
So Fluff, be so kind to explain yourself or suffer the consequences :evil:
Otherwise I'll have to..
I'll have to...
I'll have to...
Aah...
:idea: I'll have to call Karl :rotf:
Cheers

PS-How did I go? How did I go :D

jorel 08-31-2004 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend

*shouts* JOREL!! RUI!!! SOME HELP HERE PLEASE!!! :bawl:

i'm here my friend! ..but...but........but Fluffbutt is right when he wrote:
"All I can say to this is that in those two picture urls posted, both ladies look absolutely gorgeous "
means: two pictures of the same lady:
one picture here: http://profiles.yahoo.com/glanzend5
another picture here: http://kwag.stumbleupon.com/

trust me, he was talking about the beautiful lady,but don't wrote anything about that "ugly guy" on the right of the pictures :lol: .....then...he is right....both ladies(the same lady in 2 pictures)look absolutely gorgeous .

@ Fluffbutt
i free you to get "purple" eyes. :punch:

glšnzend 09-01-2004 12:04 PM

Thank you very much my friends, you both are always the gentleman 8)

@Rui
I take you don't beliving my age as a compliment, but, do you know what you just said to karl?

:cid: You said he is crib robber, remember he is 44 :cid:

@Jorel
Thank you, for that deffence, as always the hero, but please don't call my beautiful "pa" er husband ugly, :rotf:

@Fluffbut
Aren't we all bananas? and we have a great time doing this, I hope the thing with your car is ok and I suggest you read the jokes in the morning, so you can start your day with a laugh

Thank you so much guys you are wonderful!!!!!

jorel 09-01-2004 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glšnzend
@Jorel
Thank you, for that deffence, as always the hero, but please don't call my beautiful "pa" er husband ugly, :rotf:

ok..... :idea: then...he is not ugly but, he is not beautiful too! :lol:
he is in the "middle of the road"...in one side of the road is beautiful,the other side is ugly... but with the face turned to the ugly side! :hihi:

rds_correia 09-01-2004 04:51 PM

OT
This is why I love blond jokes.
You posted this one and it's gone already 3 pages long :lol:
Is that good enough for a blond joke :?:
Nah, we won't stop until the page counter hits 10 :mrgreen:
Cheers
/OT

jorel 09-01-2004 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rds_correia
OT
Nah, we won't stop until the page counter hits 10 :mrgreen:
Cheers
/OT

yeah, blonds deserve it! :lol: /no OT!

Fluffbutt 09-02-2004 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jorel
he is in the "middle of the road"...in one side of the road is beautiful,the other side is ugly... but with the face turned to the ugly side! :hihi:

:rotf: - that's the best description I've yet seen, a bit like 'morning face' (if you've ever read "Far Side" hahah. )

@glšnzend - well, the pictures show a beautiful woman with a tidy neat man, AND a beautiful woman with a 'scruff' ( :lol: just joking, mate) - so I was trying to be diplomatic as well as complimenting.
<Fluffbutt runs and hides before he gets thumped by the 'scruff', Hahahaha> <Mmm, I'm going to get thumped by both!! oops!!!)

Hey!! I meant 'scruff' in a NICE way!! :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
<Fluffbutt digs a hole, deeper and deeper and .... >

How about if I just do the compliment - very captivating and beautiful. The eyes of a goddess.... (really 40???? WOW WOW WOWIE!! :lol: I agree with rds_correia - more like 20, 25 at the most, and that's pushing it)

Yup, mad a bent bananas!

@ jorel - whew!, thanks for sticking up for me! :lol:


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