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04-17-2004, 11:50 AM
glänzend glänzend is offline
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You know your Advanced Warfighting Experiment unit is too technologically advanced when...

>Every vehicle has "Intel Inside" stenciled on the side.

>The service is renamed "US Army99."

>Tanks play a little tune when you start them up.

>The platoon medic carries Norton Antivirus in his first-aid kit.

>Your gunsights have a Win95 startup screen.

>Every night Marine Corps boot camp recruits shout, "Good night, Bill Gates, wherever you are!"

>Bayonets have a laser range finder and barometric pressure gauge.

>Military funerals feature the "21 beep salute" and the "missing file formation."

>Unit guidons are replaced with black-and-white bar codes.

>Crashing a vehicle takes on a whole new meaning.

>Maintenance companies of forward support battalions are replaced by 1-800 service numbers.

>Every platoon's TO&E includes "Sun Certified Java programmer - 1 each."

>Rifles come with a boot disk.

>Soldiers are heard to ask, "How many MEGs you got in your rucksack?"

>Night vision goggles have a screen saver.

>After lasing the target, your attack helicopter asks, "Do you really want to delete this target?"

>Hand grenades require you to put in a password before throwing them.

>SINCGARS is the most user-friendly piece of equipment you have.
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  #2  
04-17-2004, 11:54 AM
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Military Wisdom


Very useful info.




"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." -Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the Enemy." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. -U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." -U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -Gen. Mac Arthur

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." -Infantry Journal

"You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." -U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." -U. S Navy Swabbie

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." -Infantry Journal

"No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection." -Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." -Anonymous

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." -Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
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