Did you ever come up with a plan here?
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You also mentioned MySQL tuning? Is there a dummies guide to how to do that?
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I've added a guide request to our queue, for tuning a VPS or dedicated server to WordPress usage. Just realize it's not going to be as easy as clicking around a GUI, and it's not going to be $10 (typical low-end unmanaged VPS budget). A good setup will take some time/effort and a decent monthly budget.
The MySQL tuning is fairly easy, and somewhat self explanatory once you get it installed and running. It's only daunting if you have no SSH experience, and are afraid with the Linux command line. (Some people are, though I can't really blame them, as it is really easy to screw something up if you're not careful.)
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What about WordPress? I read in another post about using caching plugins and to stay away from Cloudflare. Is it just as simple as installing DB Cache Reloaded Fix and Hyper Cache Extended and calling it a day?
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For the site, yes.
(A) Use those plugins.
(B) Avoid CloudFlare, as it will just slow down sites on good servers at good hosts.
The server itself is where you'll need to put in more effort, or use a host that has created a good WordPress-ready setup. (We maintain one of these for our dev clients. Contact me if you have just a few sites, and would like to look into having us host it for you.)
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And finally, how do you test performance to know what's working? Do you use a site like gtmetrix and do before and after tests?
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The easiest way is to use the Pingdom page test:
http://tools.pingdom.com/fpt/
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