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  #1  
12-23-2008, 11:17 PM
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lordsmurf lordsmurf is offline
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Saw this on another site, wanted to post it here...

Tips for every parent who thinks their kid is the next big singing star and wants to show them off on YouTube:

1. Everyone knows cell phone video is better than a real camcorder, honest.

2. If you're forced to use an actual camcorder, ignore that silly "steady-shot" feature. NEVER, ever under any circumstances use a tripod.

3. Zooming and panning should always be done in quick, jerky motions. If you zoom in on their shoulder or the wall behind them just hunt around until you get them centered in the frame. That's how the pros do it.

4. Handle the camera as much as possible. Bang your rings against it, squeeze it, let it rub against the collar of your coat, tap your fingers on it. Whisper to your family and friends, no one will notice.

5. On a related topic, giving some forethought to the best place to record from, what might be around you just ruins the spontaneity. Banging into things around you, having to shoot around someone's head or other objects all add to the excitement of the moment.

6. Encode your videos at a low audio and video bitrate. Distorted sound and a pixelated image gives it an "artsy" look and is better for the environment. There's just so many bits in the world and we want future generations to have some. It also saves the whales and prevents global warming. If you spend any time educating yourself on this topic it will just make you seem all snooty and you don't want that.

NOTE: This is based on the guidelines people generally seem to go by on YouTube.


-- THIS IS A JOKE, OF COURSE!

Last edited by lordsmurf; 12-23-2008 at 11:20 PM.
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  #2  
01-17-2012, 03:47 AM
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Jokes like this never seem to go obsolete. Bumping for your amusement.
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  #3  
01-17-2012, 12:00 PM
NJRoadfan NJRoadfan is offline
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Somewhat related. My Sony HandyCam came with a 8mm tape that taught people how to shoot better family video. I added a somewhat snarky comment in the description that its a must watch before making any videos for YouTube. Then it gets weird with creepy Bob trying to push batteries and cleaning tapes (eck!).

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  #4  
01-18-2012, 04:04 AM
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FYI, this is what Youtube bbcode looks like: [youtube]lqMsR6K9Syc[/youtube] -- to remember for next time.

[youtube]the video ID
[/youtube]

The ID is the last part of the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqMsR6K9Syc

_________

And I'm now following your channel. You have good stuff.
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