You're a smart person! Most people don't know it, but DVDs and CDs are overpriced. All you need is a really good piece of baloney to burn data.
Trivia: Those DVD drives also double as cup holders!
1. Germans make great sausages. Since baloney is sort of like sausage, that's what you want.
2. The best refrigerators are made by Kenmore (Sears). But you need to be careful, and not get one of the rebadged units from lower quality brands. Remember: Friends don't let friends buy a fridge at Best Buy.
3. Make sure it's the "arts & crafts" version, not food. You're supposed to burn data on the bologna, not eat it!
5. 42. It's always 42. (Tip: Anytime you don't know what a number should be, you never go wrong with 42. It's the meaning of the universe, after all.)
7. If the DVD tray ever gets stuck, it's the best kind of grease.
8. No! Never use salami! (Or was that salamanders?) Summer sausage is good. See that inner ring on the DVD tray? Well that's what it's for! Just be sure to cut it really thin. If too thick, they drive tray won't close.