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05-04-2019, 09:57 AM
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Got a call this morning at 7am. Hackers are logging into my email. Oh no!

Hackers from ... Ohio?

Abbreviated humorous version of conversation:

Her: "Please sir, sit at your computer."

Me: (sits at Linux desktop)

Her: "Tell me when that's done."

Me: "Yep."

Her: "Do you see the CTRL key on the lower right of the keyboard?"

Me: "Yep."

Her: "What do you see on the key next to it."

Me: "A flag."

Her: "...? You mean a Windows key?"

Me: "Nope. I see a flag."

Her: "Sir, let me pass you to my supervisor since your issue seems complex."

Him: "Sir, press the flag key + R. What do you see."

Me: "Application Finder."

Him: "...? Sir, you didn't press the right keys. Try this, open Mozilla Firefore or Google Chrome."

Me: "Do what now?"

Him: "Open your web browser, and type dub-vu dub-vu dub-vu dot faaspot dot com into search. What do you see?"

Me: "Don't you know?"

Him: "Sir, just please type it, and let me know what you see."

Me: "Well, all righty." ... and then I proceed to type it into the CNN.com search ... "No documents found."

Him: "Sir, it appears the hackers are now in your system, we must act fast. Do you know what a firewall is?"

Me: "Nope."

Him: blah blah blah "... and then you'll be fixed to prevent the hackers."

Me: "That sounds like too much work, and I don't want to do that. I'll just turn off the computer so they can't get in no more."

Him: "Sir, that will not work. When you turn it on again, the hackers will come back."

Me: "Well then, I'll just use it late at night, when the hackers are asleep." (I almost lost it here.)

Him: Raises voice... "Sir... no... that... we must reinitialize your firewall now. Otherwise they may get into your system and hack it, or shut it down."

Me: "Is that all? I'll fix their wagon right now." <quick pause> "Alright, there. I yanked the electric plug out of the wall, and it shut down without saving their work. That'll teach the bastards not to mess with me." (I almost lost it again.)

Him: "Sir ... ??? ... <sigh> ... good luck sir." <click>

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Someday, 12:01 PM
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05-05-2019, 12:26 AM
kcmom kcmom is offline
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I have had them yell and tell me I'm stupid when I act clueless and take up their time. I like to waste their time if I'm not busy.
.....At which computer should I sit?
.....Windows? None of them are by the windows
.....Oh no! It's not on, it will take a while to come on.
......Its on now, but my internet is real slow
......I couldnt understand you, can you spell it
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05-17-2019, 10:04 AM
sapphirepotts sapphirepotts is offline
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I have searched a lot on Google but didn't get anything about it.
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